Xmas stress, no time to write daily.
Who would have ever thought that shopping for a Tree would be such difficulty in Portugal. My naive question to WHY was answered with 4 simple letters.
Crib. (the Christmas Crib-native scene)
And.
Because it is not OUR tradition.
Until just recently our only decorative item for the festive season was a crib. That's all we had and some candles. The concept of dressing up fir trees with balls and bows (odd, once you think about it, no?) arrived just the past years. No wonder that they ask for more than a 100 Euros for a Xmas tree at the nursery. That is a lot of money for a guest, who only stays 3 weeks.
The ones with roots (if it was hour house, I would try to drag it with me) are beyond wallet limit and also beyond my muscle power.
Maybe a plastic brother will be easier to find?
But also here, the options seem limited and somewhat painfully ugly.
If plastic, it better be good. Better be very good.
Leroy&Merlin has some species on offer, that look like the mirror of our troubled times.
If a tree could be bankrupt, that's what it would look like. Skinny and withdrawn, with a few uncombed hairs sticking out here and there, it certainly makes a humble broomstick an appealing alternative for the 2009 Xmas tree.
I am daydreaming of our plastic wonder, all wrapped up in some dark box in our cellar back at home in Greece. Plastic fantastic!
Me, the Anti-plastic chick, admits to liking something plastic. No tree has to be cut, used and discarded like trash, with a plastic one. And if it is a high quality one, it can last as long as we last...
Year after year, fooling every guest to be the real thing.
I did some naughty cheating, while adding real branches for the forest scent. And everyone complimented our lovely (real) tree...
Thank you China
Just now I remember Mrs. J, who has told me something, once, about a place she takes the boys to choose a tree...
I will call her, as soon we will return from our trip to homeland Greece (tomorrow).
Maybe I should also call our caretaker and ask her to put the China tree up, just for me?
Some time in the afternoon the doorbell rings passionately...
Sticking my head out the door, the rain is thick like a beaded curtain and I see a dark figure in the driveway, waving a white plastic bag at me. I wonder who it is, when I recognize that hat. (also Chinese, by the way) It is Carl, our faithful taxi-driver.
" Misses Anna, Misses Anna, I have a gift for you".
Gift? Me? Did someone say Gift? (funny, but did you know that in German the word gift=poison?)
"I am coming, Carl. What is it?"
Carl just grins at me, obviously very proud.
Excited like a little girl I tear the bag open and stare in shock at something cute with a bit of fluff on its ends. Oh my goshhhhh, it is a dead bunny. Naked too, poor thing. The ears are missing, it must be cold, I am thinking strange thoughts. " And, do you like it?", Carl beams at me. " I shot it myself and my wife skinned it for you. I know you love cooking, so I brought you one."
"Carl (stutter), but Carl (cough cough), You shouldn't, I mean..." (stutter, cough, stutter)
" Oh, Misses Anna, it's nothing. I will bring you some boar next time."
Stutter...stutter...stutter...
BOAR?
Did he say boar? Oh please, don't say deer. Please... Oh dear!!!
" Thank you Carl, I love bunny. I will cook it tonight. Thank you so much. That is so kind of you."
There we go, I did it. I thanked him and I did not hear deer.
All smiles under his Chinese version of a Borsalino he jumps back into his car and vanishes into the rain, while I am left speechless, hatless and wet in our driveway, a naked bunny richer." Prince, Prince... where are you???" I am storming back into the house, heart racing way too fast.
Gift=poison in my country. Maybe there is some truth in it. Some gifts should be just not given.
I am contemplating to throw Mr. Bugs into the trashcan, or maybe the river. Next idea is to burry him in style. But then I think of Carlo's eyes, so happy and proud. I must cook it, there is just no way around it.
The worst is yet to come.
I have to face the dead and blood stained body in the kitchen sink.
The little is head still attached, but at least the eyes are missing. Nevertheless, I am sure I can feel it watching me, even though I say sorry a hundred times. Prince finally comes to rescue, but leaves when he sees the bloody corpse.
" I think I must throw up!" he screams from the bathroom. Great strong man I've got! Looking at the pink bunny I realize that the paws and the popo still have some fur...
Soft fluffy
Oh no.
Bunny-god please help me.
I can't do this!
"Prince......pleasssssssssssseeeeee, I need a drink!"
A glass of wine arrives mysteriously on the kitchen counter, but no Prince in sight.
It is just me now. Me and Bugs.
I AM SORRRRRRY!!!
But here is the good part - rabbit is the most healthful meat on planet earth.
Red wine in hand I seem more ready for the bloody task ahead. Somehow the fluff and that cute head have to go! Thank god, or to be precise those 2 Mortal Creators: Larry Page and Sergey Brin for google. I can't even imagine what difficulty life must have been before the goofy G. I don't even remember! Now every question has an answer less than a minute away. What was it like before?
Ask Mom?
Call a wise friend?
Open one of those big fat encyclopedias and hope your question has been asked before?
Bike over to the library, hope it is still open and pray that your book is not out on a date with some geek?
Best option then, probably was:
DON'T ASK!
So here I am, bloody cruel German, looking for answers on how to cut bunny heads.
I think a question like this, would not have made me popular in the pre-google era.
At least google never judges me for any question, no matter how evil, dumb or vain.
Google gives us the freedom to be children again, free to ask anything and everything without being scrutinized. What amazing gift those guys gave us. GODS after all?!
Here we go, let's gooooooogle!
Google:
bunny how to cut
Bunny and Carrots Cut-and-Paste Art Pattern: A to Z Teacher Stuff ...
-Video: Field Testing the Louis Vuitton Bunny Ears -- The Cut
easter bunny pug photo cut outs from Zazzle.com
...
NOPE!
I must change my search. The right answer only comes with the right question. Almost Guru like.
rabbit how to cut
How to Make a Rabbit Cut with a Table Saw: How to Make a Finger ...
How to Cut Up a Rabbit | eHow.com
How do you cut up a whole fryer rabbit? « The Rabbit Wrangler
BINGO!
There are some more options for help - like youtube, but I refuse to even go there.
So, I learn, I simply chop of the head with a meat cleaver. What the heck is a cleaver? I know cleavage, but cleavers?Here is the answer:
A rather painful looking knife, a butcher's tool with a gigantic blade.
AUTCH!
Naturally I don't have one. I am calling once again on Prince hoping for mercy in any shape or form. He suggests the axe that our gardner uses to cut the wood.
My desire to turn vegetarian was never stronger than today.
Mercy is not passing by and the bunny is still naked and head-on.
That's when I just had it and reaching for my super-scissors, I start cutting off the little scull.
The crunching sounds of breaking bones echo through the kitchen.
Small head it may be, but a strong one.
I need another slurp of wine. A long one.
Ahhhhhh, and with that the head is gone. The fluff is nothing compared and soon my bunny is ready for cooking. Cut into 8 small parts.
The recipe is from my absolute favorite cooking site:
MR. MUSTARD BUGS (or rabbit in mustard sauce)
ingredients
- 1 medium onion
- a 3-pound rabbit, cut into 8 pieces
- 2 tablespoons vegetable oil
- 2 tablespoons unsalted butter
- 1 1/4 cups dry white wine
- 1 3/4 cups chicken broth (13 3/4 fluid ounces)
- 1/4 cup Dijon mustard
- 1 teaspoon cornstarch
- 2 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley leaves
preparation
Finely chop onion. Pat rabbit pieces dry and season with salt and pepper. In a deep large heavy skillet heat oil over moderate heat until hot but not smoking and brown rabbit pieces on all sides in 2 batches. Transfer rabbit as browned to a large bowl.
In skillet cook onion in 1 tablespoon butter over moderately low heat, stirring, until softened. Add wine and boil until liquid is reduced by about half. Return rabbit to skillet and add broth. Simmer rabbit, covered, until tender, about 40 minutes.
Transfer rabbit to cleaned large bowl and boil sauce until reduced to about 2 cups. In a small bowl whisk together 1/4 cup sauce and mustard and whisk mixture into sauce. In another small bowl stir cornstarch into 1 tablespoon cold water and whisk into sauce. Simmer sauce, whisking, 3 minutes, or until thickened. Whisk in remaining tablespoon butter, parsley, and salt and pepper to taste. Return rabbit to skillet and cook over moderately low heat, turning rabbit to coat with sauce, until heated through.
Oh, before I forget to mention it with all the bunny troubles. The house is all dressed up and just lovely. I call it my IKEA XMAS this year, as that's all I have...Mixed with pine-cones and real branches from our garden, it looks still a million. Especially at night with the fire is on..
Oh, Christmas, the most wonderful time of the year...
***
We enjoy bugs. He is a delicious little feller and I am proud for all the hardship I went through, because he is a perfect dinner companion for the fireplace season.
Thank you little bunny.
Oh, must call grandma, she will be 83 today!!! Wow, 83...
And with that, I am off...
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